Would Recommend: Spooky Edition

Gigi Silla (she/her); Washington, DC—

Ooh la la, I’ve been upgraded from “recent high school graduate looking to kill time by writing nonsense for the internet” to “Staff Writer.” This calls for champagne, don’t you think? Just kidding! I’m underage! 

Anyway, welcome to “Would Recommend,” the column in which I write about things that spark joy in my life and then rate them on a 10-point scale. Sort of like if Marie Kondo wrote Yelp reviews. (In other words: I write nonsense for the internet.) There are plenty of things in my life that don’t spark joy (fascism, allergies, the pumpkin I carved rotting before Halloween), but here in the column we like to keep things positive (and ooky ooky spooky). 

Yes, I’m doing a Halloween-themed “Would Recommend” because these are bleak times we’re living in, folks, and Spooky Season gives me an excuse to be afraid of something other than The Current State of AffairsTM. I suppose last month’s brief foray into the world of pessimism just wasn’t enough for me! I simply must take a full-bodied plunge into the depths of the macabre.

Music 

  • “Maniac” by Conan Gray: That bassline! Those synths! So eighties! So spooky. Plus, the music video has that red-head from End Of The F***ing World in it. (If you haven’t seen that show, you really should. Is this my first two-in-one review? I think it is! To those who would say the modifier “two-in-one” should be reserved for shampoo/conditioner combos only, I give a resounding “fuck you.” Who needs Suave Kids and their goddamn fun facts when you have this very column?) 10/10. 
  • Punisher by Phoebe Bridgers: No, not the one with the Emmys and the attitude. The one with the scotch tape and the bathtub. (Is that Head and Shoulders I see? A notable lack of Suave Kids, at the very least. Dare I call that an endorsement for this very column?) This album has got all the tracks you need for your solo Halloween party this Spooky Season. Summon demons in your basement with “Moon Song,” weep to the aptly titled “Halloween” and let out a primal scream (because the end is, indeed, near) to “I Know The End.” 10/10. 
  • “Heart of Glass” by Miley Cyrus: This fits with the theme because Miley Cyrus making good music now is scary and absolutely has something to do with the supernatural. Is she being haunted by the ghost of Blondie past? Oh wait, that’s a Christmas reference. Oops. Whatever. 8/10. 

Podcasts 

  • “Haunted” from RadioLab: Nothing like some malfunctioning flashlights and the innocent voice of 2014 Jad Abumrad to help you forget about the pandemic for 30 minutes. 7/10. 
  • “Fear In An Age of Real Life Horror” from Code Switch: This episode is from Fall 2019 which was, shall we say, a different time. What we considered “real life horror” then is today a “slow day in the newsroom.” Nevertheless, this episode makes a seriously good listen if you’re interested in psychoanalyzing yourself and the connection between your real-world traumas and the media you consume. That, for the record, is exactly how I spend my Friday nights! 9/10. 

Movies 

  • Gaslight (1944): The origin of the term “gaslighting,” Gaslight will make you skeptical of all men and all lighting devices! Plus, Ingrid Bergman and Angela Lansbury are genuine gems of the silver screen. 9/10. 

Food 

  • Trader Joe’s Harvest Blend tea: There’s a cartoon fox drinking herbal tea in a sea of fall foliage on the box for this tea. Seriously, what’s not to love about a fox on a box? 11/10. 
  • Trader Joe’s spiced cider: Tastes like if someone liquified the insides of apple pie. And, no, this isn’t sponsored content. (Although if Trader Joe’s wants to sponsor me I would gladly take money in exchange for raving about Trader Joe’s and the superiority of their autumnal beverages.) 9/10.

Miscellaneous 

  • Those foam thingies that make it look like a witch has gotten stuck in your trunk and just her legs are sticking out: Hilarious. 11/10. 

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